• Skip to main content
  • Skip to footer

Susan De Lorenzo

Subscribe

  • Home
  • About Susan
  • Dream Builder Login
  • Coaching with Susan
    • Schedule a Discovery Session
    • One-on-One Transformational Life Coaching
    • Group Transformational Life Coaching
    • Inspirational Speaker
    • Payment
  • Events
  • Podcasts
    • To Thrive with Susan
  • Blog
  • Press
    • Guest Column – Wicked Local
  • Contact

Holding Firm in a Storm

The Dark Night of the Soul. When life as we’ve known it is shaken to the ground, and we find ourselves in a hailstorm of worry and despair.  Often, we are faced with decisions and are not certain of the best choices as we navigate an adversity that has no exact end date. The change in our circumstances can feel surreal, causing us to exclaim “this is not my life!”

Upon receiving the diagnosis of invasive breast cancer, I felt like I had been sent to a foreign country where I didn’t know the language or the customs. I had to acclimate to a new reality that, while I could accept it as temporary, I knew that it was going to be well over a year until the course was completed medically.  Even if you and I already believe that there is a seed of good in every adversity, we still need the strength, mindset and skills to sustain and support ourselves while the havoc plays out. We can’t deny the distressing facts coming at us when upheaval enters our lives, but we can learn to manage our thinking and practice calming techniques to keep worry and anguish from overtaking us and our well-being.

Adversity demands something new of us that may not have been accessible in calmer circumstances. Not having a choice but to deal with our monster can raise our game. Once I accepted what the year ahead held in store for me something inside of me shifted and I began to take the lead in how I wanted to handle this difficult journey. I eventually approached my troubling event as if it were a story I could learn from and potentially influence. My first empowering decision was to no longer see myself as a victim of circumstance. This set the stage for everything else. I decided to stop fighting the facts and instead, channel my energy into things that supported and comforted me as I faced each new challenge.

This doesn’t mean that I no longer experienced worry, exhaustion and anguish. They still showed up for me, but I became better at managing them so that I could get the rest and recovery I needed in order to kick cancer out of my life for good. As a life coach, I use the analogy of buckling up fear in the backseat, rather than letting it drive the car. Fear will still be shouting at you from the backseat, but you are now in the driver’s seat, directing the intent.

There is a place inside all of us where we can find calm. Consider a storm out on the sea. The winds are blowing. The waves are churning. The clouds are rolling, dark and ominous. The rains are intense and unceasing. But if you go deep down below the surface of the stormy waters – deep, deep down – you will find the calm. There are no signs of a storm down below. Only quiet. It requires practice, but we have the capacity to leave our troubles at the surface and go deep into the comforting calm through various means, some of which I share below. Pick the ones that most resonate with you and try them.

  • Breathe: Big, deep breaths into the belly. Fear creates shallow breathing, but with our awareness and focus, we can bring ourselves back into deep cleansing breath.
  • Journaling: I used my journal to record my feelings, fears as well as my prayers and affirmations.
  • Visualization: I employed visualization to see successful surgical outcomes as well as a clean bill of health. We’ve been conditioned to prepare for the worst, so it takes practice to create a vision of what we would prefer rather than what we fear. We can even use this for others and for our world right now.
  • Meditation: There are many terrific sites and apps such as YouTube or the app Insight Timer that can take you from a beginner to an established meditator. Meditation places your focus on calming, life-giving mindsets, like a mini vacation from stress.
  • Read spiritually supportive literature/Watch uplifting movies: I took a lot of comfort in reading uplifting scriptures, poetry and watching movies that lifted me up or made me laugh. Much like choosing a nutritional diet!
  • Ask for and accept help from others: I was brought up not to bother others, so this took practice, but once I accepted help, it felt like grace was pouring over my life and situation, and I had more energy available to me.
  • Prayer and affirmations: Prayers, affirmations and feeling gratitude have a different energy than prayers that plead and beg. You and I were born worthy. We truly are spiritual beings in a human body. Understanding and connecting with our divinity puts us in a position to feel loved and empowered.
  • Keep negativity  at a distance. Some negative may be under the same roof. Just do your best to limit your exposure. The fewer people and broadcasts amplifying your dark time, the better. This is the time to pull in a positive team of supporters. This goes for consuming too much negative media too. No need to deny the facts, but get the news and go back to your best place of calm and support. No need to bathe in it!
  • Music: What uplifts you? What brings you peace? I listened to all kinds and also included reiki music on days I was in bed after chemotherapy. I drifted dreamily in and out of sleep and felt beautifully supported.

No matter where you may be in an adversity, you have the ability to choose who you will be and what serves your healing and growth. There are many tools and resources that are available to you. We’ve only scratched the surface here. There will be time for re-building when the dust has settled. For now, put yourself in a place that brings peace and support.


Explore More Blog Posts…

Holding Firm in a Storm

The Dark Night of the Soul. When life as we’ve known it is shaken to the ground, and we find ...
Read More

Declare your Personal Independence – Life, Liberty and The Pursuit of Happiness!

As a Life Coach, I love coming up with creative ways for my clients to connect with a grand vision ...
Read More

Re-Framing Failure for Success

Did you know as an inventor, Thomas Edison made 1,000 unsuccessful attempts at inventing the light bulb before finally succeeding? When a ...
Read More

Raising “the Vibe”

Raising the vibe. Performers incite us to do it at rock and pop concerts, leading us to feed off of ...
Read More

The Importance of Self-Care for Your Mental Health by guest blogger Brad Krause

It is no foreign concept that you should spend some time deliberately taking care of yourself. Yet, for many people, ...
Read More

Break Free with Forgiveness

Being able to forgive is a challenge for many. As a life coach and personally, I know what a big ...
Read More

Got Faith?

Throughout our lives, many things go “wrong,” causing us to mentally come apart in worry, fear and doubt. Going through ...
Read More

From Adversity to Awesome

We’ve all read or watched programs about people who have overcome great challenges or heart-breaking situations. Some of the things ...
Read More

The Thief of Joy

One of the biggest pieces of advice I would give my younger self, especially in my teens and twenties, is ...
Read More

“Not Good Enough” Syndrome

If you had asked me about myself before my transformative journey through invasive breast cancer and divorce, I would have ...
Read More

In the Presence of Spiritual Giants

I was presented with an unexpected gift recently. As a public speaker, my focus is to inspire and encourage others ...
Read More

Bring in the Fun!

Are you feeling like the proverbial rat in the wheel? If you’re waiting for someone or something to come along ...
Read More

Like a Boss: Boosting our Confidence Level in 2018

Most of us look in yesterday’s mirror to determine who we are and whether or not we are “good enough.” ...
Read More

Bald for the Holidays

Sometimes, things don’t go as planned. This seems more glaringly true during the holidays. During this time, we are inundated ...
Read More

As Good as it gets?

This is as good as it gets, Susan. You’ve done the best you can, so make the most of it ...
Read More

Where is My Happily Ever After?

After experiencing a year of cancer surgeries and treatment, followed by the dissolution of my marriage, I began to see ...
Read More

The Land of Make Believe

As a Dream Builder Coach, one of the critical practices my clients and I continually work on is to operate ...
Read More

Refilling Your Glass with More

I have a question for you: What do you do when you’re looking at a glass half empty? Most of ...
Read More

Spring Cleaning: Letting go of what no longer serves

It’s no secret that clutter in our homes and work spaces can be a great source of stress in our ...
Read More

The Best Valentine

“Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all.” A beautiful song and a beautiful truth, yet for many, ...
Read More

My New Year’s Wish for You

As we cross into 2017, it feels like we’ve just rolled out a long, clean white scroll before us with ...
Read More

Sharing my story to help you with yours…

In 1999, as a full-time working wife and mother and recent owner of “this old house,” I was diagnosed with ...
Read More

Footer

  • Email
  • Facebook
  • LinkedIn

Sign Up Today

Website Design by NAx2 Creative - Log in